I want to share with you all a bit of background on this project. It’s a personal share, so please be kind, it is not something I find easy to discuss.
Project Pattern initially started as a way to get over my creative block which occurred over Christmas and post redundancy from my previous job. I will sound quite dramatic here, but I feel my honest account is needed.
I endured 8 months solid of hell in a job I no longer recognised as the one I started in, before they rushed myself and over 200 passionate and hard working employees off site. As a result of this, I was rather low, 8 months of crushing my soul will mean about the same time to build it back up again. Redundancy wasn’t the only thing going on, but it was the trigger for the sadness to fall into emptiness.
Summoning the energy to start new illustrations was near impossible. Depression is a wicked thing, which I am sure sadly many of you know and have personally experienced at some point in life. It can take away the energy to enjoy even the smallest of things, even the things you love most! It zaps all passion out of you, and there is no “snapping out of it” as many people seem to think, it is more of a cloud of cotton wool has over taken your mind, and is blocking you from all the happiness that is locked away behind it. It takes work to find it again.
I feel the only way to overcome it is to give it the time it needs to heal. Slowly working through a small part of your mind at a time, by either locating the parts that remember happiness, or by facing and dealing with the parts that you’ve locked away because of the pain they cause. Everyone has ways to move through that foggy darkness differently, it is a personal journey.
Project Pattern was the beginning of my journey. First by helping me shut off from all my worries and just begin to draw again, with absolutely no end goal other than my own joy in its practise. Secondly, after many hours, days, and now weeks, I am finding that in doing this, I am drawing out the pain I have hidden in 2014 and putting a final end to it through finding that imaginative nature again. I have begun to see beauty everywhere, feeling hope and motivation again as a result.
The patterns started off as meaningless doodles, but have grown to be inspired by everything around me, I notice all the little details in furniture now, the way curtains fold in on themselves and how light filters through the blinds. I can even see patterns and a flow to my boyfriends trim physique (he likes to lift lots of heavy things), even the stubble on his face isn’t background noise anymore. Everything is sound, colour, movement, energy and a lot of fun now that I can see it all again!
From a lot of my work over the previous years it is a completely new direction, and I adore how something as simple as putting a fine line pen to paper could help me get out of my funk. It is still a work in progress, as of this moment I have been unemployed 52 days, and as yet have not found permanent paid employment. However, by keeping focused on this project, finishing customers commissions and building stock ready for my next craft fair (21st February 2015, details to follow soon), I am much happier again!
The great thing about pattern doodling is that you don’t have to be good at drawing to do it! There is no pressure on how it ‘should’ look.
So I challenge anyone reading this, who might be feeling a bit blue, unmotivated or out of sorts:
❤ Grab a pen and paper.
❤ Draw anything, maybe squiggly lines or an object that inspires you!
❤ Indulge yourself in totally useless pattern doodling!
❤ Smile 😀
Thank you for reading! Let me know how you get on with your patterns, and share them with me!
If you are interested in any of the items seen here as part of Project Pattern, I will be getting prints made in the next 2 weeks, and hope to be selling post card size versions, as well as limited edition quality prints available to ship worldwide.